Sex, God, Christmas
and Jews
By Faye
Rapoport
Review of Sex,
God, Christmas and Jews
,
by Gil Mann (On Line Marketing, Inc., 2006).
In 1997, former
businessman, Jewish non-profit volunteer and author Gil
Mann launched a discussion area of American Online titled
"Judaism Today: Where Do I Fit In?" He posted an
announcement that he would be collecting any mail he
received for possible anonymous publication in a book. The
result was an inundation of emails, from Jews and non-Jews
alike, posing questions about Judaism, its laws and
values, and its relevance in modern life. Mann featured
some of the most poignant or thought-provoking emails in
an online column along with his own responses, then
invited additional feedback from readers.
Sex, God, Christmas
& Jews is a compilation of many of these emails
and responses, organized into chapters on Ethics,
Spirituality and Peoplehood and approached from the
author's own Jewish perspective. Anonymous voices in
cyberspace ask questions about Jewish customs and
religious laws, tell personal stories of confusion, pain
and soul-searching or ask pointed questions about the
relationship between Jews and non-Jewish individuals and
communities. Can Jews donate their organs? Why is
circumcision important in Jewish families? How can
disenfranchised Jews return to their Jewish roots, or
non-Jews interested in converting learn more? All of these
questions and many more are examined. As Mann points out,
the anonymity of cyberspace often frees individuals to ask
questions or reveal feelings that they might not feel
comfortable confronting in their daily lives or with their
own friends and families.
An easy and quick read
because of its email format and the friendly and
conversational tone of Mann's responses, Sex, God,
Christmas & Jews offers value to anyone who has
basic questions about Judaism. He focuses especially on
the relevance of Jewish customs and community in a modern,
largely secular society, often consulting with rabbis to
find accurate answers to theological questions. Mann, who
does not declare a particular affiliation, expresses a
strong attachment instead to the Jewish way of life and
stresses the importance of not only its survival, but its
ability to thrive in the modern world. Although he does
not advocate for a specific level of observance, he
stresses that Jewish values, principles and traditions can
guide Jewish individuals and families in their daily
lives. He also believes that Jewish institutions and
organizations must reach out to Jews who feel alienated or
rejected by certain traditions or past experiences and who
might choose to return to Judaism if they could find new
ways to connect.
For a Jewish partner in
an interfaith relationship or family, the book provides an
opportunity to explore different perspectives on Jewish
laws and customs regarding such issues as maintaining a
Jewish home, raising Jewish children, the acceptance of
interfaith families by synagogues and community members,
or how converts (Mann likes the alternate term "Jews
by Choice") are viewed by many Jews both
theologically and in reality. The book also nudges the
Jewish reader to do some soul-searching about his or her
own heritage, Jewish education and choices about
living--or not living--a Jewish-oriented life, and about
such current issues as conflicts between the Jewish and
African American communities and anti-Semitism in the
world today.
For a non-Jewish partner
or for young adults growing up in an interfaith home, the
book offers insights into Jewish thinking on intermarriage
and acceptance by Jewish parents and why such perspectives
or traditions evolved, as well as more pragmatic questions
such as whether or not a Christmas tree is acceptable in a
Jewish home.
Although Mann's views
might not always reflect the experience or opinions of the
reader, he provides balance by getting opinions from
rabbis from different affiliations and including emails
that both agree with his responses and offer alternate
perspectives. For example he declares: "I still fear
anti-semitism, but I do not fear it from the vast majority
of Americans." Yet he also features some
heart-breaking emails that reveal anti-semitic behavior in
America. Never is one perspective deemed correct over any
other, although Mann summarizes his own opinions and
suggestions at the end of each chapter.
Mann admits to being
disturbed by the rising rate of intermarriage in America,
especially as they relate to the rearing (or lack thereof)
of Jewish children. Yet he also declares: "I believe
our synagogues and other Jewish institutions need to find
every possible way to make interfaith couples and their
children a part of our community." It is this effort,
he asserts, that will encourage interfaith families to
participate in Jewish life and help strengthen Judaism
today.
Sex, God, Christmas
& Jews brings together a community of anonymous
questioners and responders to explore many aspects of
Jewish culture and life in modern times. The book
concludes with a listing of books and online resources to
help anyone learn more, as well as suggestions for Jewish
leadership and institutions. The author's goal is to help
make Judaism accessible and understood for Jews and
non-Jews alike. In this he heartily succeeds.
