Though we do not approve of a Christmas tree in a Jewish home,we felt this different twist on a sensitive subject was worth sharing with our readers. 

Dear Gil: 

When I was a little boy, until I was about eight years old, we had a Christmas tree in our home. Looking back, I believe it was a "very Jewish" thing to do. 

Years earlier, my parents were very close to the next-door neighbors, the Johansons. Theirs was a "good Christian" family with three boys (older than the three children in my family). 

My mother was especially close to Mrs. Johanson, who was a fairly young woman at the time, but who died after a terrible battle with cancer. As a dying wish, and since she had no other family, she asked that my mother continue to provide a place for her boys to gather for the holidays until they were old enough to provide for themselves. So each year, after Chanukah, we would briefly put up a Christmas tree so the Johanson boys would have a place to meet and be with "family." 

This went on only a few years, until they met at one of their own homes. All three boys became successful, including one who became a state senator. One of my brothers, by the way, became a rabbi. 

I continue to believe that this act of kindness by my mother meant that having a Christmas tree was, indeed, a mitzvah! 

Respectfully, 

C 

Dear C: 

Many Jews have strong opinions about the appropriateness of having a Christmas tree in a Jewish home. They contend, as do I, that the tree is not a generic holiday symbol but a Christian ritual object that does not belong in a Jewish home. I know this topic can stir emotions because I have written about Christmas trees in the past and received many emails afterward. 

Your unique and moving story is different from anything I have ever seen before. I suspect many people (including me) would agree with you in saying that having a Christmas tree in your house was indeed a mitzvah — a good deed. 

But there are also some who might say that your mother’s act was misguided — that having a tree in a Jewish home was wrong for numerous reasons including the message it sent about accepting Christianity in your home and the longing this might have created in her three young children to someday have a tree in their own homes. Further still, some might argue that having a tree violates Jewish law. 

While I understand these arguments, I admire your Mom and her intention. There is no question that in putting the tree in your home she sent a message to the three of you — a message that became deeply imprinted.That message was that Jews should treat others,whether they are Jew or Gentile,with goodness and kindness. 

I suspect your mother’s decision was not a flippant one. The fact that after a few years the tree ceased to be in your home suggests to me that maintaining a Jewish home mattered to your Mom. From what you have written, it seems that having the tree in your home for those few years was consistent with some of the ideals of Judaism your mother felt were important in both a Jewish home and a Jewish life: tolerance and acts of loving kindness. 

I once wrote a column called Religions: The Cause of the World’s Problems (you can read it at www.beingjewish.org/jewishemail/article26.html) in which I responded to a writer who made that assertion. In a sentence, my column said that that religions have certainly brought some bad things to our world, but I would not advocate ridding the world of religions. 

For ultimately, I believe the major religions of the world try to teach us to treat each other as your mother treated the Johanson boys. This is why she wanted a Jewish home — to raise three boys of her own who would someday grow to become mentsches (decent human beings). Three Jews who would someday go out into the world and be kind to others and treat those in need with compassion. 

Much is made of brotherhood at this time of year.T hanks to your mother, you really know what it means. I want to believe that the Johanson boys do as well when they recall with warmth how, at a time of pain and loss, they were welcomed and comforted by a Jewish family at Christmas time. Thank you for sharing your touching story. 

Happy Chanukah! 

Gil  

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