I was invited to make a presentation in an eastcoast
city that they (not me) entitled: "The
December Dilemma: Celebrating Chanukah at
Christmastime. Rather than make a formal presentation,
I decided to turn the evening into
something of a focus group (in many ways
similar in style to what I did when I wrote my
book).
I wanted to hear from
the people there how
they felt about Christmas,
Chanukah, and
their thoughts in general
about living as a
Jew in a non-Jewish country
at this most Christian time of
the year.
As you might expect, the sentiments
expressed were mixed.
A few of the people loved
Christmastime, a few others felt
very uncomfortable, but not surprisingly,
most people fell right in the middle.
Here are some of the comments I heard that
night:
"I sometimes feel as though Christmas is an
American holiday — only it’s one that excludes
me, so I feel left out."
"It bothers me how everyone just assumes that I
participate. They ask me questions like: "Have
you finished your Christmas shopping yet?"
"I like people’s moods better at that time of
year
— people just seem to be nicer to each other
and the rhythm of work slows down. The last 10
days of the year, there are fewer meetings so
things feel less frantic."
"I don’t mind Christmas, but I find it
frustrating that non-Jews think
Chanukah is the Jewish Christmas."
"I enjoy the music, the lights and the
decorations …and on Christmas day
I love watching movies like It’s
a
Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th
Street."
While expressing all these thoughts,
at the same time everybody there
enjoyed celebrating Chanukah —
especially the family time and
attention to children.
I suggested to the group that what I
was hearing was not exactly a "December
dilemma,"because the tone in general seemed
to be more or less neutral — Christmas just
didn’t seem to pose that big a problem for most
of them.
One person responded with the idea that for her the
dilemma "is
really
about being different and how different do I want to
be?"
I bold face this comment because I think she summarized
much of what
makes difficult the experience of being a Jew living as
a minority.
Christmas being one of the "high holidays" of
the Christian world brings
out our differences in no uncertain terms — in bold
face, so to speak.
My response to all of the above, is the following.
First, I find it incredibly
ironic that these two holidays come at the same time of year. Here’s what
I mean.
By admission, Christmas makes many Jews feel so
different from the
dominant culture and yet many Jews feel compelled to
borrow directly
from it — trees, stockings, decorations, etc. There is
historical precedence
for this kind of behavior as some might argue we have
borrowed
from the culture around us in some way or another in
every society
where Jews have lived over the last two thousand plus
years.
Now comes the irony and the conflict: the story of
Chanukah is about
NOT ADOPTING the dominant culture. Chanukah is a
celebration of how
we as a minority (the Macabees) prevailed against a
non-Jewish culture
that was being forced upon us.
So how do we reconcile this conflict? That brings me to
my second point.
Dr. Ron Wolfson of the University of Judaism says the
way to deal with
this conflict is to recognize that Christmas is
"their party. "We can appreciate
the other party — enjoy it and learn from it, but this
is simply not
our party.
Joel Grishaver, in his book 40
Things
You Can Do to Save The Jewish
People, goes a
step further. He
suggests actively going to and
participating in the Christmas
celebration of a non-Jewish
friend. Then he says invite your
non-Jewish friends to come visit
and participate in one of our
celebrations, be it Shabbat
dinner, Passover Seder, or a
Chanukah Party. And by the way, Grishaver adds it would be a good
idea during Jewish holidays to also visit other Jews
(more and less traditional than you) to learn about how
and why we Jews
celebrate the holidays as we do.
I myself enjoy Christmas in spite of a number
of years of terrible and humiliating experiences
in public school growing up, where I was one
of the few Jewish kids and where the teachers
and administration were, to say the least, unsympathetic.
I don’t feel conflicted over Christmas because
I know where I am different and I am comfortable
with those differences. In fact, I believe the
main reason that I can appreciate and enjoy the
beautiful parts of Christmas is that I feel so
proud of my Judaism.
So as I look forward to celebrating how our
ancestors fought for their right to practice
Judaism, I wish you all happy holidays and Chag Sameach!
Gil
|
Belonging
to the Jewish PEOPLE.
