Dear D:

You'll probably enjoy this ditty: When God created man, She was kidding! Getting beyond quips, there are two contradictory answers to your questions. One: most of Jewish law and Jewish text are the product of men, so there is a certain bias built into Judaism. Answer two: many of these sages and Judaism in general held women in high esteem.The intention was and is to honor women in Judaism, in part, precisely because women bring life into the world.

If this is so, then why all the "second-class" treatment you describe in your email? I believe a big part of the answer is found by looking at the issue using the context of days gone by. The Middle East in ancient days was male dominated. Society was tribal and clan-based and was often headed by a male chief or leader. Still today, in many of the countries in the region, much of this tradition exists and the status and treatment of women in those countries is appalling.

But the Middle East was not unique. The whole world was male dominated—and still is! Only now and only in the Western World are women starting to see equal rights. Historically speaking, the gaining of these rights is a relatively new phenomenon. In the U.S., men finally granted women the right to vote in 1920—not exactly ancient times!

In the last fifty years, Judaism has changed a great deal regarding women. Today, the Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist Movements have made huge strides in granting women rights and power. All three movements ordain female rabbis, allow women to read Torah and pray with men, have worked to make their prayerbooks gender-neutral, teach about the Matriarchs, and encourage women to wear kippot, tallit and tefillin. Obviously, individual synagogues handle these practices differently, but in general, these three movements view women as deserving rights equal to men.

"But," you may be thinking, "what about the Orthodox?" Within Orthodox circles there are certainly women speaking out for changes, but overall, I would refer to my point about our tradition holding women in high esteem. You may not agree with the following rationale, but our tradition says that women are "released" from many obligations because of the important role women play as mothers and wives. The home is viewed traditionally as a holy place with women bringing in the spiritual light, (this is why women light the Shabbat candles.) Many of these women feel respected as, in the words of our tradition, "women of valor with a worth higher than rubies."

Sexist garbage? Not according to many observant women who view their role with comfort and happiness. Before you dismiss this as brainwashing, think for a moment about the reverence we have for "Jewish Mamas." All kidding on the subject aside, we Jews deeply value our mothers and grandmothers. In the Orthodox world, much rationale comes from this kind of earnest respect for women.

I see this and admire the intention, and at the same time I have problems with some of our traditions' views toward women, especially the issue of agunot—women trying to get divorced. But today, there is a wide latitude of practice relative to women within Judaism, and I feel very comfortable partnering with my wife to raise our two daughters just as we raise our two sons: to become proud, equal and fully participating first-class Jews.

Thanks for writing!

Gil