High Holidays 2003/5764

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The ESP of the
Jewish Way of Life


Roll your mouse over each circle to find the questions. 
Ethics Spirituality Peoplehood
Click on circles for more about Jewish ESP!

 

 

Belonging to the Jewish PEOPLE.

Tashlich 

While the following made the rounds via the web last year, we thought it was worth repeating for those who aren’t plugged in and for those who just enjoy a little giggle every once in a while. 

On Rosh Hashanah, Jews all over the world participate in the mitzvah of Tashlich. In this ceremony, Jews traditionally go to the ocean, a stream,or a river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water. Symbolically, the bread represents their sins and their throwing the crumbs into the water is meant to represent the casting out of those sins. 

Occasionally people ask what kind of bread should be thrown. Here is a list of suggested breads which may be appropriate for specific sins or misbehaviors. 

For ordinary sins . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . .  . . . .White Bread 
For particularly dark sins . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pumpernickel 
For complex sins . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Multigrain 
For twisted sins . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pretzels 
For tasteless sins . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Rice Cakes 
For sins committed in haste . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Matzoh 
For sins of chutzpah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fresh Bread
For committing auto theft . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Caraway
For timidity or cowardice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Milk Toast 
For ill-temperedness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sourdough 
For silliness, eccentricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nut Bread 
For not giving full value . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shortbread 
For excessive irony . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rye Bread 
For causing injury to others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tortes 
For abrasiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grits 
For dropping in without notice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Popovers 
For overeating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stuffing 
For impetuosity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quick Bread 
For raising your voice too often . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Hallah 
For pride and egotism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Puff Pastry 
For being smothering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Angel Food Cake 
For laziness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Any long loaf
For trashing the environment . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dumplings 
For telling bad jokes and puns and for publishing this piece . . . . . . . . . . .Corn Bread


From the Mouths of Babes
… 

Here are a few tidbits from readers whose kids’ understanding of Judaism, God, or ethics just made them giggle. If you have a Jewish funny from your kids or a moment that made you stop and think and you’d like to share it with our readers, check out our submissions box on page 14. We’d love to hear from you.

We were on vacation when our seven-year-old son, Mitch, lost a tooth. Normally,we give him a silver dollar but in this instance we were out of luck — far from our stash of coins at the house. Instead, we gave him the smallest thing we had on us, a five-dollar bill with a note that read: "Dear Mitch, I tracked you down at the hotel but my bag of coins broke on the stairs so I have to give you this five dollar bill. It is more than I usually like give at one time, so why don’t you give some of it to tzedekah."

In the morning when he retrieved his money and read the note he turned to us, surprised, and said, "I didn’t know the tooth fairy was Jewish."

Submitted by Christine Levinson, Los Angeles, California.

It was President’s Week and Lily, my daughter’s prekindergarten teacher at our local JCC, was trying to explain to the kids who the presidents were and why we were celebrating them. 

"You know," she said, "George Washington was the first president of the United States — he chopped down the cherry tree. Abraham Lincoln was the sixteenth president — he freed all the slaves." 

One of the kids’ hands shot up and when called on he asked, "Lily, what’s a slave?" 

"Well," Lily answered, "Can you imagine doing all the cooking and all the cleaning — all the work of the whole house and never being paid? That’s a slave." 

My daughter, Sophie, raised her hand and said, "Lily, I know a slave." 

"You do?" asked Lily surprised. 

Sophie nodded wide-eyed as she replied, "My Mom."

Submitted by Caren Goodman, Detroit, Michigan.

 

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