Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
copyright notice at the end. |
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Are
Gentiles More Compassionate than Jews?
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Over
time, I have heard from a number of
Jews who are disabled. I suspect that
after this week's response, I will
hear from more--and also from many
Jews who care about the disabled...I
especially hope the latter is true! By
the way, rather than saying
"disabled," I prefer to use
a much more positive term I learned:
"differently abled." To me
this is more accurate and also in
keeping with the Jewish ideal that all
of us were created in the image of
God. The following is an example of an
email I have received:
The
subject heading was simply: ???
Dear
Gil:
Why
is it that I who have become disabled
can find help to get groceries from
most churches but never by contacting
the local temple I think there should
be a way for folks who are stuck at
home to be able to find each other and
make friends because in the sick world
only those who know what its like can
relate. The well world doesn't help.
N
Dear
N.
Your
letter is so important that I wanted
to share it with others as a response
of the week--in part because you are
not the first person to contact me
expressing the sentiment that too
often Jews turn their heads away and
ignore those with disabilities. We
Jews talk a great deal about repairing
the world (Tikun Olam,) but when I
receive letters such as yours I wonder
whether too often we just pay lip
service to this lofty ideal.
I
want to respond to you with four
thoughts. Here is the first: I fear
that often people (not just Jews) do
turn their heads away from the
differently abled who need our help. I
am not sure this is an issue of Jews
or gentiles being more compassionate.
Certainly you can find many Jews and
gentiles that care a great deal and
lend a helping hand--and many that do
not.
In
my opinion and in my own personal
experience, I think ignoring the
differently abled is mostly a matter
of being "sensitized." I
once was in a hospital and
accidentally got off on the wrong
floor in the Kidney Dialysis
Department. I looked around and saw
waiting areas for the families and
also the areas where dialysis patients
spent many long hours, a number of
times a week having machines hooked
into their blood vessel so that they
could live. I remember thinking at the
time "My God, there is an entire
world here. This is like another
planet and the people here and their
families have their lives turned
upside down by the fact that their
kidneys don't work. And I do not even
give a thought to my kidneys!"
And then I got on the elevator and
reentered my world. Though I will
always remember the experience, it did
not change my life.
A
few years later, my life was changed.
Two close friends--who also live 2
houses from me had a baby girl born
with a Jewish genetic disease that
made her progressively more ill and
completely dependent on others for
life. She passed away 2 years ago. I
thought of my friends and their little
girl every day. My family spent much
time with her family. All of us became
sensitized to the challenges of
disability and to the necessity of
reaching out to those who need our
help.
Which
leads me to my second thought. The
time I spent with my friends also
sensitized me to the fact that the
Jewish world does not do enough to
help the differently abled and their
families. One simple example: at most
of the synagogues in my city, a person
in a wheelchair can not go up to the
pulpit (bema,) because there is no
ramp or lift. I think the main reason
is that nobody thought about it when
the synagogues were built.
Which
leads me to my next point. Regardless
of what was, we can easily think about
the differently abled now and do
something about helping. Again an
example from my city: in the last
couple of years, a number of families
who have differently abled children
approached our Jewish Community Center
(JCC) and very vocally criticized the
JCC for not including their children
in programming. And guess what? The
JCC changed! They created a camp
program that would included
differently abled children. The even
found a way to include a boy in a
wheelchair in the basketball program!
Best of all, because of these changes
I believe the able bodied children
(and their parents) and the
differently abled children benefited.
These changes are not enough nor were
they necessarily easy (but they also
weren't that hard), but If there is a
will there is a way!
Having
said all of that I also want to make
another point: many Jewish
organizations and synagogues do a
tremendous amount of admirable and
wonderful work to assist people with
handicaps, special needs or who are
simply too frail to take care of
themselves.
Which
brings me to my final point. To care
for those with special needs or who
are differently abled is the Jewish
thing to do! We are taught not to
place a stumbling block before the
blind and to pay special attention to
the needs of the widow and the orphan.
To me the spirit behind these laws are
obvious: we Jews are commanded to look
out for and help the disadvantaged.
So,
in closing: to those with special
needs, contact the synagogues, JCC's
and Jewish Family Services in your
area and inquire what programs
exist--you may be surprised. If
programs do not exist then
constructively speak out. Also there
is a Council For Jews with Special
Needs, Inc.
- 12701
N. Scottsdale Rd. - Suite 205,
Scottsdale, AZ 85254, (480)629-5343
And
for of us lucky enough to be able to
say, "I do not have special needs
or disabilities"--then do the
Jewish thing: count your blessing and
then contact your JCC, synagogue or
Family Service and say "I want to
help" or "what can we as an
organization do to help?." After
all, if we live long enough, each one
us will have special needs someday
that will require the help of others.
These
thoughts about special needs,
disabilities and the differently abled
are really about affording others
human dignity...something Judaism
cares so much about. This idea I think
is beautifully embodied in the
following Hasidic saying: "In
every person there is something
precious which is in no one else. And
so we should each be honored for what
is hidden within us, for what only we
have."
That
saying moves me. I hope you and others
find meaning and value in it as well.
Thank you for writing.
Gil
A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Copyright Gil Mann
These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org. Not
only do I give you permissions to copy these Jewish Email
columns...I HOPE YOU WILL and that you share them with others!
All I ask is that you never charge anyone for them and that you
also include this little copyright notice. Thank You!
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