Dear Readers, These columns began on my area of America Online, called:  Judaism Today:  Where Do I Fit?   People anonymously sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many Jewish papers and websites.  I hope you find they help you as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood components of the Jewish way of Life.  I welcome your comments... see the end of the column. Gil PS  Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward them or use them as you see fit.  Please see the friendly copyright notice at the end.

The Passover Seder: A Boring Ordeal? (part 2)

Last year when I posted my Passover response based on a joke someone emailed to me, the feedback from readers was so wonderful that I decided to post it again this week. Many told me they read the response out loud at their Seder. One letter in particular touched me. This is what it said:

Dear Gil:

I am an eleven year old boy and I just read your article: The Passover Seder: A Boring Ordeal?!, and I thought it was a great! You have shone me a new way to look at Passover. From now on I will always look forward to Pesach.

THANK YOU!!!

I can only hope in reposting this column, that you too find in these words some of the same value this young reader found......

Dear Gil:

Thought you would enjoy this joke:

Morris a retiree who just moved to Florida, calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama."

The son is shocked and says "But Dad, you can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 44 years together. What happened?"

Morris says, "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up."

"But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?"

"No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet." says Morris.

"Dad, Don't do anything rash. I'm going to take the first flight down. Promise me that you won't do anything until I get there."

"Well, all right, I promise. Next week is Passover. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the Seder. Call your sister in NJ and break the news to her. I just can't bear to talk about it anymore."

A half hour later, Morris receives a call from his daughter who tells him that she and her brother were able to get tickets and that they and the children will be arriving in Florida the day after tomorrow.

"Benny told me that you don't want to talk about it on the telephone, but promise me that you won't do anything until we both get there."

Morris promises.

After hanging up from his daughter, Morris turns to his wife and says, "Well, it worked this time, but what are we going to do next Passover to get them to come to the Seder!?"

D

Dear D:

Thanks for the joke. You probably will be surprised to see it became the basis of one of my Response of the Week columns. I believe this joke will resonate for many people because for many "doing the Seder" is a boring ordeal. I have heard this sentiment expressed the following ways:

"How many times must I hear this story?"

"What is the point anyway?"

Our Seder never ends"

"Our Seder is a meaningless rush through the service so we can eat already"

I want to try to answer these complaints by giving you and others a new way to look at the Seder that I hope will hold value for you and your family this year and in years to come.

A number of years ago, I solicited a person for a Jewish tzedakah fund. I asked him who he gives his money to and why. He listed for me the charities he supports and then said: "Here is one I am particularly proud to support--these folks give free legal aid to the poor." Then he said, "Coincidentally, most of the lawyers who work for them are Jewish."

My response was: "do you really think that is a coincidence?"

Here is what I meant. When we are children, we pick up most of the values that will guide us through our lives. We learn them from the stories we hear from our parents, grandparents, teachers, clergy etc.

There is one story we Jews tell religiously (pun intended) every spring. It is, of course the story of Passover. The story of Passover is loaded with values. I want to suggest for a moment that you look at the Passover story a new way. Look at the story through the eyes of a 4-5 year old. This is about how old we were when we began to understand the story. Here is how it goes:

Once upon a time--there was an evil and cruel king. He hated Jews. And this is not just a fairy tale boys and girls, this story is true. Tonight at our Seder we are supposed to imagine that each of us lived in his kingdom.

This evil king took everyone in the family: moms, dads, kids, grandparents and he made all of us slaves. He did not care how old, young, sick or healthy you were. He whipped us, made us work in the hot desert, did not give us enough food or water AND DID NOT CARE IF WE DIED!

But we were not dying fast enough, so he came up with the most horrible plan. He took baby boys from the moms and dads and threw them in the river to kill them!

Well, God looked on down on this mess and did not like it. He sent Moses to rescue the people. The people were freed and eventually made it to a promised land of milk and honey.

That is the Passover story in a nutshell. What are the values that Jewish children --and adults--learns from that story? Among other things:

*We should remember how horrible being a slave felt,

*That no one has the right to treat humans that way,

*We should always fight against oppression and for justice, and

*We should be hopeful. (By the way, the national anthem of Israel--Hatikva means "The Hope."}

With these values in mind, think of my comment to the person I solicited--is it a coincidence so many of these lawyers helping the poor just happen to be Jewish?

I think not. You see, when you tell the same story every year for thousands of years the values in these stories sink in--deeply. Our rabbis were wise to insist that we tell this story. These are the values that I believe are at the essence of being a Jew.

Now telling the story at your Seder in a way that is meaningful and engaging...that is a whole different topic. I won't address that problem here other than to say that today there are many wonderful resources available to help--from videos to the Internet (if parts of this column work for you--feel free to make copies,) to new Haggadahs--try for example: A Different Kind of Night.

My hope in sharing the Passover story with you this way, is to motivate you to seek out such resources for your Seder--so that this year and every year you can look forward to your Seder. Try to change the complaint "Another Passover Seder: been there done that! " to an appreciation that our people have been there (oppression and persecution) and done that (gone from slavery to freedom.)

There is a quote--from whom I'm afraid I don't know--that Jews are the only group in America who earn like Episcopalians and vote like Puerto Ricans. Without meaning to disparage anybody, I like this quote. I think you can link it directly to the Passover Seder.

At the Seder we are told to imagine ourselves as slaves. By doing so, we are reminded that though in reality we are free, those who aren't--the poor, the disadvantaged and the downtrodden--deserve our compassion and our fighting for them to receive justice and human dignity. In my opinion, this is a lesson all people should be taught...a lesson certainly worthy of remembering at least once a year.

Thanks for writing and Happy Passover!

Gil

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Thanks,
Gil