Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
copyright notice at the end. |
 |
|
Should
I Have a Bat Mitzvah? I am 53!!!!
|
 |
Last
week, my daughter became a Bat
Mitzvah. The milestone brought home to
me the seriousness of the commitment
we ask of our young teens. As 13 years
old, they are joining the Jewish
people as adults. This serious act
requires true maturity. This column
originally released several years ago,
with a new PS, speaks to this...
Dear
Gil:
I
am a 53 year old woman, who in the
past few years, due to my affiliation
with my temple that I really enjoy,
have become active in the temple and
in educating myself about Judaism. I
have been studying Hebrew for about
six months and concurrent with that,
my moreh (teacher) has been educating
me about Judaism. I am enjoying both
the Hebrew and the Jewish education
very much.
Now
a question is coming up -- to become
Bat Mitzvah or not? My position is
that I am obviously not 13, so this is
not a life's transition into
adulthood. I am already practicing the
mitzvot of study and service and have
begun to light Shabbat candles, etc.
So,
to "declare my Judaism" to
my community appears unnecessary and
so far, except for "feeling the
need" (which I don't) I have not
found a reason to participate in this
ceremony for myself. I am, however,
open to feedback. So that is why I am
writing to you. Do you have any input?
Sincerely,
D
Dear
D:
My
input is -- definitely have a Bat
Mitzvah! I think this increasingly
popular practice of adult women (and
men) having B'nai Mitzvah is beautiful
and meaningful. In fact, I am inclined
to think 13 year olds are too young to
have the maturity to understand
and appreciate what joining our people
means.
As
Rabbi Harold Kushner writes "the
stuff of Judaism is adult
material." I think we should up
the age to 18 or so...but that is
another story! You on the other hand
do have the maturity and understanding
as your letter demonstrates.
In
addition the fact that you are toying
so seriously with the question -- so
much so that you wrote to me -- makes
me think that perhaps you have a
stronger desire to be Bat Mitzvah than
you realizes. That speculation aside,
I think you should have a Bat Mitzvah
because there are 2 declarations you
make: one is a declaration to the
community. The second declaration is
to yourself that is maybe even more
important; namely, that with pride and
joy you are counting yourself in as a
part of our people.
Is
doing this publicly at the age of 53
necessary? No. But I think it is a
joyous occasion that is worthy of
celebrating. And Judaism is in part
about celebrating life. This is a
wonderful milestone that I would
encourage you to celebrate with
enthusiasm and with your community!
Why
not embrace your community and let the
community embrace you back. I see no
downsides. In addition, I think an
adult Bar\Bat Mitzvah is a wonderful
example for all to see and learn
from...young and old!!! It shows we
are never too old to learn and never
too old to take our Judaism more
seriously than we did in our past.
I
hope these words encourage you.
Gil
P.S.
Here is an email sent to me by a
reader (typical of many I received)
after the above column was originally
published:
Dear
D:
YES,
YES, have a Bat Mitzvah. I am in your
age category and I did it just last
February. It was one of the richest
moments of my life. My life has
changed considerable since that
moment. I see things through Jewish
Eyes, for one. I now teach young
people how to read Hebrew and I help
to prepare them for their big day. I
am giving back to my community I love
every rich moment of it. I can't
promise you what you will get out of
it but I can promise that your
perspective will change. Celebrate and
be Joyous. Sincerely,
B
A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Copyright Gil Mann
These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org. Not
only do I give you permissions to copy these Jewish Email
columns...I HOPE YOU WILL and that you share them with others!
All I ask is that you never charge anyone for them and that you
also include this little copyright notice. Thank You!
|
|
