Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
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A
Woman's Voice Should NOT Be Heard!
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Once
in a while, I engage in an email
dialogue with a writer (I wish I had
time to do this more often.) This week
I offer you one such dialogue
(edited).....
Dear
Gil:
I
heard a rumor that the Torah speaks
against women singing. I am a singer.
I find singing to be one of the most
spiritual aspects of my existence. Why
would the Torah prohibit a woman from
singing -- is the gift of song not a
gift from God?
R
Dear
R:
Often
in my columns I am quashing rumors
about Judaism, but in this case you
are correct. Traditional reading of
Jewish law says men should not hear
the voice of a woman (kol isha)
singing...at any time, not just
prayer. There are two reasons. First a
woman's singing is an expression of
her beauty and should be guarded with
modesty. Second, a woman's voice could
lead a man to have sinful (i.e.,
sexual) thoughts.
"That's
outrageous!" I could hear you
saying, but before getting too
agitated, try to read what follows
with an open mind. I asked a friend of
mine who is a Hasidic rabbi about this
issue.
He
said: "Listening to a woman's
singing voice is considered
participating in intimate behavior
just like physical touch, [both are
only allowed between husband and wife.
A woman's hair is also part of her
beauty and considered intimate which
is why observant married women cover
their hair.] Intimacy is holy and is
reserved for the appropriate venue.
Religious women singers, my wife
included, will sing for women's groups
and for family members brothers,
parents, children, husband and if you
stretch the limits, cousins and
uncles, depending on how strict people
get. With regard to the woman who
wrote, if G-d gave her the gift of
singing, is it not possible that there
is a G-dly way and a mundane way of
using that gift?"
You
may not agree or respect this point of
view (I disagree but respect it) but
at least you have some insight.
Gil
Dear
Gil:
If
my message is "holy," in
other words, if I sing in order to
send a positive and helpful message to
people, I ask you -- is there anything
"mundane" in this? Who am I
helping if I keep my voice to myself?
Who am I soothing? To whom am I giving
joy?
R
Dear
R:
Let
me play devil's advocate. Let's say
that a woman has a body that is as
attractive as a beautiful voice, and
she decides she would like to bring
joy and love to the world by sharing
her body with many people...this could
take many forms from posing nude to
modeling clothing to literally,
physically sharing her body with
others. Could you not understand some
of the Orthodox argument about modesty
in this example. The argument says
that not everything that is beautiful
and pleasurable is for sharing...that
placing limits can actually enhance
God given beauty and pleasure.
Gil
Dear
Gil:
Am
I doing a service to G-d in this
modesty? Or would I be serving G-d in
a much truer sense if I set free the
voice that he gave me in order to
create a positive energy in an
atmosphere that could possibly be
transformative for others?
For
example, if I can bring
"beauty" into the world with
my voice -- if I can move the soul of
even one other person -- if I can help
somebody to feel, to experience life
in a beautiful and sensitive way --
then is this what Judaism would
consider "G-dly" or
"mundane?" My feeling is
that the only way that I can
personally serve "G-d,"
other than in prayer and in following
His commandments, is to use his gifts
to spread a feeling of love and peace
and truth and humanity to as many
people as possible.
R
R
Shalom:
I
am inclined to side with you. At my
synagogue, prayers are regularly led
by a woman whose voice is so gorgeous
that sometimes when she sings, I
actually get shivers. But I can also
respect the point of view that says
the enchanting nature of her voice is
a perfect example of why men should
not hear women sing.
The
Conservative, Reconstruction, Reform
and Renewal Movements all sanction
women singing and cite examples from
the Bible like Miriam, Deborah and
women singers in the choir of the
Levites as precedents. Of course, the
Orthodox option to avoid hearing a
woman singing is also available. I
hope our exchange has given you some
guidance as you decide how best to
share the blessing of a beautiful
voice, that God in HER wisdom granted
to you.
Gil
A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Copyright Gil Mann
These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org. Not
only do I give you permissions to copy these Jewish Email
columns...I HOPE YOU WILL and that you share them with others!
All I ask is that you never charge anyone for them and that you
also include this little copyright notice. Thank You!
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