Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
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Dear
Readers:
Last
week, I was invited to make a
presentation in an east coast city
that they (not me) titled: "The
December Dilemma: Celebrating Hanukkah
at Christmas Time." Rather than
make a formal presentation, I decided
to turn the evening into something of
a focus group. (In many ways similar
in style to what I did when I wrote my
book.) I wanted to hear from the
people there how they felt about
Christmas, Hanukkah, and their
thoughts in general about living as a
Jew in this non-Jewish country at this
most Christian time of the year:
The
sentiment expressed was mixed. Some
people loved Christmas, others
strongly resented it and most felt
right in the middle. When I asked
people to assign a number from 1 (I
hate Christmas!) to 10 (I love
Christmas!) on average, I would say
most people chose 5. What would you
say?--I'll tell you my rating at the
end of this response.
Here
are some of the comments I heard that
night:
"To
me it is not a religious holiday--It
is an American holiday."
"I
agree it is an American
Holiday--that excludes me! I feel
left out."
"I
resent how everyone just assumes
that I participate. They ask me
questions like: have you finished
your Christmas shopping."
"I
like the mood--people just seem to
be nicer to each other plus the
rhythm of work slows down. The last
10 days of the year there are fewer
meetings and so on."
"I
find it frustrating. Non-Jews just
think that Hanukkah is the Jewish
Christmas."
"I
like the music, the lights and
decorations and on Christmas day I
love watching the movies: It's a
Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th
Street, and others."
While
expressing all these thoughts, at the
same time everybody seemed to really
enjoy Hanukkah--especially the family
time and attention to children.
I
suggested to the group that what I was
hearing was not exactly a
"December dilemma," because
the tone in general seemed to be more
or less neutral. Christmas just did
not seem to pose that big a problem
for most of them.
One
person then said, "for me the
dilemma is being different and how
different do I want to be?"
I
bold face this comment, because I
think this person summarized much of
the experience of being a Jew living
as a minority--which describes all of
us Jews who live outside of Israel.
Christmas being the "high
holiday" of the Christian world
brings out our differences in no
uncertain terms--in bold face so to
speak.
In
response to all of the above, I want
to make 2 points. First is the
incredible irony that these two
holidays come at the same time. The
holiday of Christmas makes so many of
us Jews feel so different. So
different that many Jews feel
compelled to borrow from
Christmas--trees, stockings,
decorations etc. And some might say in
every society where Jews have lived
for thousands of years, we have
borrowed from the culture and made it
part of ours.
Now
comes the irony and the conflict: The
story of Hanukkah is about NOT
ADOPTING the dominant culture!
Hanukkah is a celebration of how we as
a minority (the Macabees) prevailed
against a non-Jewish culture that was
being forced upon us!
So
how to reconcile this conflict? That
brings me to my second point. Dr. Ron
Wolfson of the University of Judaism
says that the way to deal with this
conflict is to recognize that
Christmas is "their party."
It is a nice party, but not ours. We
can appreciate the other party--even
enjoy and learn from it, but this is
simply not our party.
Joel
Grishaver in his book : 40 Things You
Can Do to Save The Jewish People goes
a step further--He says--actively go
and visit or participate in a
non-Jewish friend's Christmas
celebration. Have fun, but know and
understand, this is not our
celebration....then he says invite
your non-Jewish friends to come visit
and participate in our parties--a
Shabbat dinner, a Passover seder etc.
[By the way, Grishaver adds it would
be a good idea during Jewish holidays
to also visit other Jews (more and
less traditional than you) to learn
about how and why we Jews celebrate
the holidays as we do.]
I
will go a step beyond Grishaver, I say
that while you are at your non-Jewish
friends' homes or if they are in your
own home you should celebrate that as
a Jew you are different! This is not
something to be avoided or to be
ashamed of--it is something to be
proud of.
Which
brings me to my personal rating of
Christmas that I promised to reveal. I
rate Christmas very high--an 8 or
maybe even a 9--I like it a lot!
(Though I am certainly not trying to
tell you what your rating should be!)
And I have a high rating in spite of a
number of years of truly terrible and
humiliating experiences in public
school growing up, where I was one of
the few Jewish kids and where the
teachers and administration were to
say the least--unsympathetic. I
consequently have strong feelings
about keeping Christmas (and Hanukkah)
out of the public schools and other
places of government. I must confess,
I never did understand how
Christmas--the birthday of
Christ--became a U.S. National
holiday--if ever there was a
constitutional violation of church and
state this one is pretty obvious!
Still,
I can enjoy Christmas as much as I
do--in part because I love being
Jewish so much. I don't feel
conflicted over Christmas because I
know where I am different and I am
comfortable with the differences. In
fact, I feel lucky that I can enjoy
the beautiful parts of Christmas (the
music, the entertainment, the good
cheer of my neighbors and a day off! )
without having to put up with the less
pleasant parts of Christmas that so
many Christians complain about--like
shopping, obligatory get togethers
with people they do not like or
conversely the depression of being
alone etc.
As
a proud Jew, I view this time of year
as having the best of both worlds. So
as I look forward to lighting the
candles and celebrating the victory of
our Jewish ancestors in their war
against the pressure to assimilate I
wish you all: Happy Holidays and Chag
Sameach!
Gil
A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Copyright Gil Mann
These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org. Not
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