Dear Readers, These columns began on my area of America Online, called:  Judaism Today:  Where Do I Fit?   People anonymously sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many Jewish papers and websites.  I hope you find they help you as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood components of the Jewish way of Life.  I welcome your comments... see the end of the column. Gil PS  Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward them or use them as you see fit.  Please see the friendly copyright notice at the end.

THE JEWISH CHRISTMAS TREE

Dear Gil:

When I was a little boy, until I was about 8 years old, we had a Christmas tree in our home.  Looking back, I believe that it was a "very Jewish" thing to do.

Years earlier, my parents were very close to the next-door neighbors, the Johansons.  This family was a "good Christian" family  with 3 boys (older than the three children in my family.)

My mother was especially close to Mrs. Johanson, who was also a  fairly young woman at the time.  Mrs. Johanson died after a terrible battle with cancer.  As a "dying wish", and since she had no other family, she asked that my mother continue to provide a place for her boys to gather for the holidays, until they were old enough to provide for themselves.  So, after Hanukah, we would briefly put up a Christmas tree so that the Johanson boys would have a place to meet and be with "family".  This only went on a few years, until they met at one of their own family's home.  All three boys became successful, including one becoming a state senator.  One of my brothers by the way, became a rabbi.

So, I continue to believe that this act of kindness by my mother meant that having a Christmas tree was, indeed, a mitzvah!

Respectfully,

C

Dear C:

Many Jews have strong opinions about the appropriateness of having a Christmas tree in a Jewish home.  They contend, as do I, that the tree is not a generic holiday symbol but a Christian ritual object that generally speaking, does not belong in a Jewish home.  I know this topic can stir emotions because I have written about Christmas trees in the past and received much email afterwards.

Your unique and moving story is different than anything I have ever seen before.   I suspect many people (including me) would agree with you in saying that having a Christmas tree in your house was a mitzvah...a good deed.

Some might say that your mother's act was misguided in that she first had a responsibility to her own three young Jewish children.   The argument could be that having a tree in a Jewish home was wrong for numerous reasons including the message it sent about accepting Christianity in your home and the longing this might have created for the three of you to have a tree of your own.

I could see these points, but I admire your Mom and think she did the right thing.  She sent a message to the three of you all right -- a message that deeply imprinted on you.    That message was that Jews should treat others with goodness and kindness whether they be Jew or Gentile.

I suspect your mother's decision was not flippant.  The fact that after a few years, a tree ceased to be in your home suggests to me that having a Jewish home mattered to your Mom.  From what you have written, having the tree in your home for those few years was also most consistent with having a Jewish home.

Recently I wrote a column called:  Religions:  The Cause of the World's Problems.  I responded to a writer who made that assertion.   In a sentence, my column said that that religions have certainly brought some bad things to our world...but I would not advocate ridding the world of religions.

For ultimately, I believe the major religions of the world try to teach us to treat each other as your mother treated the Johanson boys.  This is why she wanted a Jewish home...to raise three boys of her own who would grow to become mentches (one of whom became a rabbi.)  Three Jews who would go out into the world someday, be kind to others and treat those in need with compassion.  

Much is made of brotherhood at this time of year.  Thanks to your mother, you really know what it means.  I want to believe that the Johanson boys do as well as they recall with warmth how at a time of pain and loss, they were welcomed and comforted by a Jewish family at Christmas time. 

Thank you for sharing your touching story.  Happy Chanukah!

Gil

A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE © Copyright Gil Mann These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org.  Not only do I give you permissions to copy these Jewish Email columns...I HOPE YOU WILL and that you share them with others!  All I ask is that you never charge anyone for them and that you also include this little copyright notice.  Thank You!

Thanks,
Gil