Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
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ARE
CONVERTS TREATED AS 2ND CLASS?
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Dear
Gil:
I
always had a deep fascination with Judaism
since I could remember. I believe my parents
both have Jewish blood in their veins. My
mother's maiden name is Lewin. Further
evidence is that my late father's hometown,
Siedlce, Poland, was populated by 17,000
Polish Jews before WW2. It's geographic
location is between Treblinka and Warsaw.
Siedlce Jews were killed. Unfortunately, any
genealogy information is probably most
likely lost or destroyed during the war.
I
am wondering should I or shouldn't I convert
to Judaism? I always get the feeling that
born Jews are more resentful and distant to
the Jews by choice. I think the Jews by
birth feel offended when Jews by choice
convert. Do Jews treat Jews by choice like
second class citizens?
V
V
Shalom:
In
my experience, sadly the answer many times
is yes. This is a shame on many levels, not
the least of which is that the founding
father of Judaism -- Abraham converted to
Judaism and King David is a descendant of a
most famous convert: Ruth!
In
addition, Jewish law repeatedly prohibits
mistreatment of converts. One of the
greatest rabbis of all time, Maimonides
(known as the RAMBAM) wrote: "Toward
father and mother we are commanded honor and
reverence, toward the prophets to obey them,
but toward proselytes we are commanded to
have great love in our inmost hearts."
In
keeping with this teaching, I am also able
to answer your question with the response
that many Jews accept converts fully. I have
heard from converts who were so warmly
welcomed that their feelings of conviction
about conversions were only strengthened as
a result of their wonderful reception from
Jews by birth.
As
for the second class citizenship reaction, I
offer several possible explanations. First,
many Jews carry the hurt of centuries of
persecution from gentile neighbors and this
colors their view of non-Jews. I think many
also feel that this pain is something we
Jews own and a person who converts (and
whose relatives did not suffer anti-Semitism
-- or worse, whose relatives may have
persecuted Jews) does not have the same kind
of "ownership" of Judaism as a Jew
by birth whose ancestors suffered.
Also,
I have heard Jews by birth express
skepticism and cynicism about the sincerity
of a Jew by Choice's conversion. Converting
"just to marry" a Jew is often
cited. Marriage is one of many possible
events or "stirrings" in a
person's life that might motivate them to
convert to Judaism. I am fine with marriage
being one such event. Marrying someone is a
huge life decision that should involve deep
soul searching. If part of that soul
searching includes a reevaluation of ones
faith and an embracing of the Jewish way of
life, then I say "God bless."
Becoming a Jew is a huge sacrifice and
commitment and I greatly honor any Jew by
Choice who sincerely embraces Judaism. As I
have written in the past, I wish all Jews by
birth (Jews by chance I call us,) would be
as serious about their Judaism as many of
the converts I have met!
A
problem arises in the eyes of many Jews
(including mine) however when a person
converts to Judaism because they are
marrying a Jew but following the marriage,
practice no Judaism...or even continue to
practice their original religion (i.e.,
actively celebrating Christmas.) Still, in
my experience this is the exception. In
fact, I have found that in couples where one
of the partners has converted to Judaism,
the convert is often more committed to
Judaism than the Jew by birth.
I
must say in closing that the danger in all
that I have written is that I am
generalizing. Whenever a person generalizes
they are asking for trouble because there
are so many exceptions. Still, I offer these
answers to you in the hope that you will not
be dissuaded from your interest to pursue
Judaism. And I offer these words to others,
in the hope that the "distance"
often felt by Jews by Choice be eliminated.
Instead, we should welcome converts as a
blessing to our people with the following
RAMBAM teaching in mind: peace be unto
converts...fellow pupils of OUR father
Abraham.
Thanks
for writing!
Gil
A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Copyright Gil Mann
These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org. Not
only do I give you permissions to copy these Jewish Email
columns...I HOPE YOU WILL and that you share them with others!
All I ask is that you never charge anyone for them and that you
also include this little copyright notice. Thank You!
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